The Life I Draw Upon, Now with 100% More Friends!

me: i need to shower

Alex: yes you do

always listen to that voice

(There was always someone) Carrying Cathy

I've reached the age where the death of older family members feels almost constant. In the past three years, I've lost my grandpa and my great aunt and uncle. In the past 7 months, Alex has lost his grandma and grandpa. I know that my world view has changed, but I'm not quite sure yet exactly how. I only hope that it hasn't made me more callous or cold.

Momentary Musing

I had a thought tonight, and that is we are always in survival mode. I sometimes think of the way Alex and I are living is a product of being in survival mode. Yes, I'd like that can with the dent that's 35 cents off for purely cosmetic reasons please, thank you. But in reality, we're ALWAYS in survival mode. For the rest of my life, I'm going to be dependent on me. I'm going to pay my rent/mortgage. I'm going to buy my food. I'm going to have these responsibilities without pause. I need to build this into my life the same way I build eating and sleeping in--otherwise, this life will get very tiring.

Knock knock...

You know it's bad when someone can tell you the last time you updated your blog, and when its been multiple months.

It's really not ok.

And so for you, my loyal few, I return, head in hands, but with new commitment, not only to you but to these very fingers typing to you now and the words I wake up each day hoping will flow from them. Wow, well that's a bad start I suppose--sure, the words are coming but really, woof. Edit much?

Hrm. Let's try this again.

I've been spending the last few months trying to figure out what of what I do is a hobby and what is my career, and the truth is, they both come down to the same thing. Research, analysis, and most importantly, writing. I just have to decide what I research, and who benefits from it.

Ultimately, I'm not entirely sure what the answer is, but I know that involves practicing, like a lot. So I'll be back here, sharing the stories that don't have a home anywhere else. I appreciate your readership, and I'll do my best to make it worth both of our time :)

When the Twitter fail whale fails...

...you get this:

Eek. I like the fail whale enough...can't say I'd ever (EVER) buy anything with the whale on it, but I really enjoyed the Livejournal page fail that I discovered the other day at work:

I'd have expected Xanga to harken back to All Your Base are Belong to Us, but I was impressed the Livejournal managed it. Oh man, the web used to be a crazy place...

This is how I know I live below the poverty line

In the early 1960's, Ken Cosgrove was making $300/week.

Almost 50 years later, I'm making $400/week, and I sure as hell don't have a secretary either.

Good thing I've got a man to take care of me. (See, things really haven't changed much.)

Na Husle

I'm not sure why it makes me sad to see others achieving the dreams I used to have. Let me be clear. These dreams are ones I chose to give up. Dreams that were out-dreamed by other dreams. Ones I fully expect to make me very, very happy.

My first thought was that maybe it had to do with the fact that I haven't yet reached the dreams I've chosen instead. But I don't think this is it; no, there's a sense of nostalgia to this that I think would be there no matter what. I felt as though I got the chance to look at what my life could have been, and I envy your happiness. It makes me wish I wanted what you want. It feels strangely like I dropped part of me instead of redefined me.

Anyway. I'm glad you're happy. And I know I'll be happy too. And that I AM happy. 

Go get it.